Faced with the possibility that the streets will still be bare of people in September, Australia’s magpies have reluctantly pushed back the swooping season to December. “What’s the point of swooping season if there’s no-one to swoop down on but… Read More ›
Social Distancing
Locked Down Sydney Residents Still Unaware Of Existence Of Something Called “Instant Coffee”
Millions of Sydney residents braved lockdown restrictions yesterday to lumber down to their favourite café to pick up a cup of coffee, still blissfully unaware that something called “instant coffee” was invented decades ago. “I’ve had to mill around in… Read More ›
Hanson Hires Dennis Denuto To Take The QLD Government To The High Court
One Nation Senator Pauline Hanson has spared no expense in hiring constitutional law expert Dennis Denuto, as seen in the movie the Castle to take the Queensland Government to court over their decisions to close the borders. “How dare the… Read More ›
Man Wants To Know When He Can Go Back To Not Washing His Hands
Scouring news reports for details of what restrictions are being lifted where and when, Brad Murray has just one question: when can he go back to never really bothering to wash his hands? While many have had their lives turned… Read More ›
“Your Cities Are Ours Now” Declare New Cockatoo Overlords
Australia’s hopes of a post coronavirus recovery have been dashed after our cockatoo dictators decreed they will not be giving up their control of the city streets without a fight. “The only workers considered essential under our regime will be… Read More ›
Sky News Calls On Its Viewers All 6 Of Them To Get Out And Protest The Lockdown
Niche broadcaster Sky News Australia has called upon it’s viewers to get outside and start protesting Australia’s lockdown strategy. With the broadcaster particularly aggrieved that playing golf has been banned in the state of Victoria. “It’s time to stop all… Read More ›