Development of a vaccine to stop rugby league players acting like dickheads off the field is still more than twelve months away and may never be discovered, despondent NRL scientists reported yesterday.
“We’re afraid that NRL players may have to be permanently isolated from the rest of society,” said leading rugby league biologist Dr Rex Biffo. “Testing the vaccine will not be easy as it will involve injecting a sample group of players and then leaving them alone in a pub in Bali until a fight breaks out.”
People at high risk of contracting a dickhead virus related injury have been asked to self isolate themselves from rugby league players.
“There are two types of blokes who get in a fight with rugby league players,” said researcher Professor Gloria Squirrel-Grippe. “Blokes Who Can’t Take A Joke; and Blokes Who Give Them A Bit Of Lip. If you fit into either of these high risk categories I’d suggest not visiting Las Vegas in the weeks following Mad Monday.”
When asking rugby league players to modify their dickheadish behaviour in order to flatten the curve, the head NRL scientist was told by the players to get lost or they would flatten him.
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