Author Archives
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Defence White Paper Names Giant Squid As Australia’s Greatest Security Threat
Australia will be spending upwards of $150 billion on twelve new submarines after yesterday’s defence white paper asserted that giant squid remain the nation’s greatest enemy. “No-one need fear being taken from the deck of a ship by a giant… Read More ›
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George Pell Releases New Single “Buy A Razor Tim Minchin You Smelly Badger Eyed Hippy”
Cardinal George Pell has raced to number four on the Vatican music download charts following the release of a new song in which he pleas with comedian songwriter Tim Minchin to come clean and face up to a visit to… Read More ›
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Private Healthcare Patients Get Choice Of Clown Doctors
Patients with private health insurance have applauded a federal government decision that will allow them to demand treatment from the clown doctor of their choice. “I feel much happier going to hospital knowing that I’m going to get a visit… Read More ›
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Sinking Yachtsman Rescued From Western Sydney Wanderers Crowd
Round the world yachtsman Tony Bullimore has been rescued after the coast guard spotted a flare that he set off when his boat started sinking in the middle of the crowd at a Western Sydney Wanderers game. “I was blown… Read More ›
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George Pell To Get Miracle Cure Once Royal Commission Is Over
God has confirmed that Cardinal George Pell is going to receive a miracle cure for the medical condition that prevents him from flying, but only after the Royal Commission into child abuse is completed. “Friends and colleagues of Cardinal Pell… Read More ›
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Hollingworth Says Sorry To Children Forced To Listen To Christian Guitar Players
Dr Peter Hollingworth has apologised on behalf of the Anglican church to a generation of children who grew up forced to listen to acoustic guitar players singing cool soft rock gospel songs. Speaking to the Royal Commission into Born Again… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 