Author Archives
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Turkey Vows To Stop The Boats
Amid heightened tensions between Australia and Turkey, Turkish President Erdogan has vowed to stop any new invasion by Australia. In a statement from Ankara today a Turkish spokesman told the unAustralian “we don’t like Mr Abbott’s how do you say?… Read More ›
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Irish Gay Marriage Vote Blamed For Sydney Storm
The Republic of Ireland’s decision to allow a May referendum on same-sex marriage is believed to be responsible for the wild weather that caused pandemonium in Sydney this week. There were five deaths in Newcastle and the Hunter Valley and much… Read More ›
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Initial Cooties Tests Clear NZ PM Of Virus
Preliminary tests on New Zealand Prime Minister John Key, who came into repeated contact with a girl’s ponytail, suggest he does not have cooties. Mr Key was admitted to Wellington Hospital last night after experiencing gastrointestinal symptoms, fever and strong… Read More ›
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‘Can You Gain Your Enemy’s Courage By Eating Their Heart?’ The (un)Australian Investigates
The laboratory is clean and immaculately white. Surgeons sharpen their precision blades. Three bodies start returning to consciousness, struggling to work out where they are through the haze of drug cocktails and the concussion from being wacked on their head. On… Read More ›
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The (un)Australian’s Step-By-Step Guide To Destroying Your Google Search History
Rosebudding; it’s not just a technique used by Wilson Tuckey to enrage Paul Keating via burning his favourite childhood toy. It’s also a fantastic new trend taking our youth by storm. Not familiar with it? Why not Google it? We… Read More ›
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ISIS Recruiter Declares ‘We’d Give You Monday Off’
In the lead up to Anzac Day a recruitment video for ISIS has emerged, which declares that if ISIS Day fell on a Saturday you’d still get Monday off. The recruitment video is clearly trying to woo disgruntled Australians who… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 