Author Archives
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John Howard’s Eyebrows Given 24/7 Police Protection
Former Australian Prime Minister John Winston Howard’s eyebrows have been given 24/7 police protection to protect them from potentially being targeted by protesters. ”We have received word that an attack is planned on the former Prime Minister’s eyebrows,” said a… Read More ›
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NRL Announces New Conspiracy Theory Round In An Effort To Draw A Crowd
With crowds due to be allowed back to Rugba league games the NRL has announced that it will be launching a new ‘conspiracy theory’ round in an effort to drew fans to actually attend the game. ”When the Government said… Read More ›
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Government To Handout $25K Grants For Anti-5Gers To Cover Their Houses In Foil
The Morrison Government has announced a new $25,000 grant for people who are fearful of 5G technology to cover their houses in tin foil. The announcement comes following extensive lobbying from One Nation Senator Malcolm Roberts. ”This is a good… Read More ›
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Petless Couple Lavish Creepy Amounts Of Attention On Their Children
Friends of a petless Kirrawee couple are concerned that they may be overcompensating for their lack of a cat or a dog by obsessing over their children. “You go over to visit and like the kids are just running around… Read More ›
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Abbott Uses Queen’s Birthday Honour To Lobby For The Return Of Knights And Dames
Former Prime Minister and newly awarded companion of the order of Australia (AC) Tony Abbott has called upon the Government to bring back knights and dames to Australian society. ”Judging by the chatter that I’m hearing not only in the… Read More ›
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BREAKING: Queen’s Birthday Honours List Revealed
The (un)Australian has been leaked a copy of the Queen’s Birthday honours list that is due to be announced over the weekend. See below who will be honoured. Andrew Bolt – For services to racism. Tony Abbott – For service to… Read More ›