Author Archives
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Deputy PM’s Tourism Plan To Lure Celebrities To Australia Via Court Action Deemed Successful
National Party leader and aspiring tourism minister Barnaby Joyce has been lauded after his plan to lure celebrities to Australia via court action has been deemed a success with the arrival of Johnny Depp on the Gold Coast yesterday. A spokesperson… Read More ›
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Telstra Outage Forces Millennial To Face Two Hours Of Hideous Reality
“I had no idea who I was supposed to be hysterically hating and completely lost touch with the antics of the world’s kittens,” said Ramsgate dental receptionist Emily Retweet. “Worst of all for part of the time I was at… Read More ›
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Australian Olympic Team’s Uniform Designers Behind New $5 Note
The team in charge of designing the Australian Olympic team’s uniforms has been revealed as the team commissioned by the Government to develop the new Australian $5 note. A spokesperson for the government explained the decision, saying: “We thought long and… Read More ›
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Bill Shorten Appoints Stephen Bradbury As His Chief Of Staff
Labor leader Bill Shorten has appointed former speed-skating Olympic gold medallist Steven Bradbury as his Chief of Staff, in anticipation of winning the next election. A spokesperson for the Opposition leader spoke to The (un)Australian about the controversial appointment, saying:… Read More ›
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Couple Sitting In Anti-Social Loners Section Of Food Court
Tensions are running high in a local shopping mall after two people who appear to be a couple were found occupying seats that are meant to be used by single people eating alone in the food court. “We’re already relegated… Read More ›
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Karl Stefanovic Outraged The Gold Logie Is Not White
Today Show host and self-confessed anti-dry cleaner, Karl Stefanovic has revealed that he is outraged that the TV Week Gold Logie, awarded to Australian TV’s most popular ‘personality’ is gold in colour rather than white. The one-time Gold Logie winner Stefanovic told… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 