Author Archives
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Prime Minister Promises South Australia $20bn Flag Contract
Prime Minister Tony Abbott has blindsided the opposition with a bold plan to buy all government flags from South Australian firms. The ACTU has yet to formally respond to the move due to today’s anti-Abbott rallies and The (un) Australian… Read More ›
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Stupid People Not Responding To Being Called Stupid
There are concerns that a widespread community campaign to cure stupid people by calling them stupid is not working. “We’ve seen a marked rise in stupidity in recent years,” said Professor Julia Wyse, an expert in stupidity. “Despite an enhanced… Read More ›
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Grizzly Bears Refused Entry At Bear Bar
A group of grizzly bears visiting from Canada became enraged when they were turned away from the new Bear Bar on Oxford Street in Sydney. The Bear Bar is a pop-up bar set up as part of the Sydney Mardi… Read More ›
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Howard Released After Heart Scare After Tests Confirm He Still Hasn’t Got One
Former Australian prime minister and world-renowned eyebrow groomer John Howard was released from hospital on Saturday after suffering a heart scare. Doctors released Mr Howard after tests confirmed the longest-serving PM since his conservative hero Robert Menzies still didn’t have one. The… Read More ›
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Ruddock Really Removed To Reduce Unsettling Ghost Sightings Around Parliament
It has been revealed that Philip Ruddock’s removal from the office of Chief Government Whip after the failed LNP leadership spill had nothing to do with his performance in that position, but was due to disruption caused by his ghostly presence around… Read More ›
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Palmer Blames Murdoch For Death Of His Dinosaur In Emotional Outburst
An emotional Clive Palmer has blamed Rupert Murdoch for the fire that consumed his giant animatronic dinosaur Jeff at his Coolum Resort on the Gold Coast in the early hours of the morning. “He’s killed Jeff!” a choked-up billionaire coal magnate,… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 