It has been revealed that Philip Ruddock’s removal from the office of Chief Government Whip after the failed LNP leadership spill had nothing to do with his performance in that position, but was due to disruption caused by his ghostly presence around Parliament House.
Staff, tourists, and visiting dignitaries all reported sightings of an unsettling, spectral figure moving aimlessly about the building and grounds. “It was just Phil wandering about, looking for someone to talk to,” said Ruddock’s chief of staff, Garth Weber. “He’s been at a bit of a loss since all his old friends left. It’s been quite sad, watching him eating his lunch alone all the time.
“But people were getting really unnerved, and there were rumours starting that the place was haunted. Things really came to a head, though, when parliament came back. Wyatt Roy had become so terrified by the ‘ghost’ that he spent the whole first sitting week hiding under his desk, refusing to come out unless Tony went with him to the chamber or the toilet.
“I think that was the final straw that forced Tony’s hand.”