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Palmer Blames Murdoch For Death Of His Dinosaur In Emotional Outburst

By theunozblog on 03/03/2015

Clive Palmer with Jeff in happier times.

An emotional Clive Palmer has blamed Rupert Murdoch for the fire that consumed his giant animatronic dinosaur Jeff at his Coolum Resort on the Gold Coast in the early hours of the morning.

“He’s killed Jeff!” a choked-up billionaire coal magnate, Palmer United Party leader and dinosaur-lover told The (un)Australian in front of the burnt out remains of the life-sized T-Rex.

Tears rolling down his cheeks, Palmer insisted that the fire that destroyed the 10 metre-high Jeff, positioned near the ninth-hole on the resort golf course, was no accident. “Rupert’s wanted revenge ever since I slammed his media outlet’s undue influence over our nation and called his wife a Chinese spy.

“He told me months ago I had better stop holding up his government’s budget or else I’d regret it. I said ‘don’t you mean Tony Abbott’s government?’ but he just gave a sinister laugh and warned me not to test him.

“I knew Rupert was capable of great acts of evil, I mean he publishes Miranda Devine, but I never thought he’d go this far! Oh god! Jeff! JEFF!!! JEEEEEEEEEEEEEFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!”

Palmer began weeping and flailed about wildly on the ground until a resort staff member shot him with a tranquilser dart and a crew of 20 lifted his body onto a forklift and drove away.

Carlo Sands
http://www.twitter.com/carlosands

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