Opposition leader (for now) Peter Dutton has condemned Victorian Premier Dan Andrews over traffic in Melbourne, after his candidate for the upcoming Aston bi-election spent 40 minutes driving from their home in Fitzroy to the electorate. ”What planet does comrade… Read More ›
China
Fitzsimons Soothes Tearful SMH Journo’s Following Their Encounter With Keating
The SMH’s pompous blowhard at large Peter Fitzsimons has rushed to the Herald’s office to soothe and calm the paper’s journalists following their encounter with former Prime Minister Paul Keating. ”Was good of Pete to come in as Bevan really… Read More ›
Barnaby In Taiwan To Work On A Foreign Affair
Aspiring Shadow Minister for Home Affairs Barnaby Joyce has expanded his outlook and headed to Taiwan to work on the possibility of a foreign affair. ”What an opportunity to press the flesh, so to speak, in Taiwan,” said the Member… Read More ›
Albo Slips The Chinese Premier A Mix Tape Made Especially For Xi Jinping
Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has used his brief meeting with Chinese Premier Li to pass him a mixtape that he made especially for Chinese Prime Minister Xi Jinping. It is hoped the tape will mend relations between the two… Read More ›
Sculptures By The Sea To Be Replaced With A ‘Pop-Up’ Casino On Bondi Beach
This year’s sculptures by the sea event has been cancelled and replaced by a pop-up casino to be run by Clubs NSW that will run the length of Bondi Beach. The announcement was made by New South Wales Premier Dominic… Read More ›
Dutton Calls On Chinese Checkers To Be Renamed Freedom Checkers
The Opposition leader the Dark Lord Peter Dutton has called upon the popular board game Chinese Checkers to be renamed ‘Freedom Checkers’ in an effort to punish China for the ongoing animosity between the two counntries. ”I am appalled that… Read More ›