Fitzsimons Soothes Tearful SMH Journo’s Following Their Encounter With Keating

The SMH’s pompous blowhard at large Peter Fitzsimons has rushed to the Herald’s office to soothe and calm the paper’s journalists following their encounter with former Prime Minister Paul Keating.

”Was good of Pete to come in as Bevan really was not up to the task,” said an SMH employee. ”The poor journo’s, can you believe that Keating actually spoke back to them?”

”Doesn’t he know that his role is to answer our questions and speak to us like the walking Gods that we are.”

When asked why the paper was so upset at being questioned by a former PM, the SMH employee said: ”Because for years no politician has dared talk back to us.”

”Malcolm tried and look where that got him.”

”Keating needs to realise that sure, he was PM, but Fitzsimons has written hundreds of books and yes, no one actually reads or cares about them, but you just try going in to a Vinnies or Salvos store without seeing one of them.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to write a think piece on how people called Paul are inherently evil.”

Mark Williamson


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