Embarrassed troopers have admitted they released the notorious Ned Kelly gang from captivity after being fooled into thinking they were a group of baristas on their way to open a pop-up cafe in Glenrowan. “They all had big bushy beards… Read More ›
coffee
Locked Down Sydney Residents Still Unaware Of Existence Of Something Called “Instant Coffee”
Millions of Sydney residents braved lockdown restrictions yesterday to lumber down to their favourite café to pick up a cup of coffee, still blissfully unaware that something called “instant coffee” was invented decades ago. “I’ve had to mill around in… Read More ›
Village People Covers Band Devastated By Lockdown Of Construction Workers
NSW-based Village People covers band The Macho Men have been devastated this week, after the NSW Government implemented a ban on all construction workers. ”Mate, this is just devastating,” said the group’s Policeman. ”Already we have lost so much work… Read More ›
ScoMo Sees Nothing Wrong With Tradies Being Able To Take Arts Workers Lunch Money
Prime Minister Scotty from marketing has told reporters that he sees nothing wrong with tradies being able to legally demand an arts worker hand over their lunch money. “Arts workers need to realise that they need to be a part… Read More ›
Study Finds That People Who Eat Kit Kats Without Breaking The Fingers Are Likely Psychopaths
After the recent terror attack on the streets of Sydney, the Federal Government announced a new study to be conducted by the CSIRO to discover tell-tale signs of possible future psychopaths. Talking exclusively to the (un)Australian, Head Boffin at the CSIRO… Read More ›
Tearful Baristas Admit It’s Been International Roast™ All Along
All coffee served in Australia’s hipster cafes has been International Roast™ the whole time, confessed the nations baristas in a tear soaked press conference yesterday. “The Belizian Misty Mountain, the Los Pelotas Kilimanjaro Cascara, even the one that allegedly… Read More ›
