This afternoon King Charles, a dude who once told his sidepiece that he’d like to identify as a Tampon, will visit Australia. The trip will be paid for by the Australian taxpayer in what is said to be a boon… Read More ›
commonwealth
Youth Asked To Say I Consent During The Coronation In Honour Of Prince Andrew
Buckingham palace has put out an edict that during the weekend’s coronation ceremony as well as pledging allegiance to the King, the youth of the commonwealth will be asked to say, ”I consent” in honour of Prince Andrew. ”Bit of… Read More ›
ScoMo Tells Women To Wear Ankle Length Skirts So As Not To Tempt Andrew Laming
Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison has called upon the Nation’s women to never wear any skirts shorter than ankle length, so as to not tempt his colleague Andrew Laming to up-skirt them. ”The Ladies of Australia need to realise that… Read More ›
Turnbull Shocked That Royal Commission Investigating Banks Not Banksy
The Prime Minister has expressed concern and annoyance that the Royal Commission that his Government set up is investigating Banks rather than his planned target the artist Banksy. “This is a most concerning occurrence,” said the Prime Minister. “I mean… Read More ›
Turnbull Pledges To Flog Banking Execs With The Warmest Lettuce Available
Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has expressed his anger at the behaviour of banking executives uncovered by the Royal Commission and promised to deliver harsh punishment to all involved by flogging them with the warmest of lettuce. “I am most upset… Read More ›
Crime Gangs Outraged By CBA’s High Money Laundering Fees
International drug smuggling gangs have joined the call for a royal commission into the banking sector after being forced to pay the Commonwealth Bank outrageously high fees for each money laundering transaction. “It sucks that they charge us $1.50 each… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 