Prime Minister Scotty from marketing has extended his well wishes to those in Victoria currently in lockdown and he hopes that they will take inspiration from his trip over the weekend to the footy to watch his beloved Cronulla Sharks…. Read More ›
Daniel Andrews
Melbourne To Widen Laneways To Make Them Covid Safe
Melbourne’s iconic laneways will be widened to a minimum width of 50 metres in an effort to make them covid-19 friendly spaces. “In time people will come to know Melbourne as a city of broad boulevards full of totally not… Read More ›
Peter Dutton Labels Victoria A S***hole
Minister for Home Affairs Peter Dutton has ramped up his attack on the State of Victoria by labelling it ‘a s***hole.’ “Look I stand by my statement that Victoria is, pardon the French a s***hole,” said an unrepentent Minister Dutton…. Read More ›
Cocaine Industry In Shock After Logies Leave Melbourne
Up to 5000 jobs may be lost in the Victorian cocaine industry in the wake of the state government’s decision to no longer fund the annual TV Week Logie Awards. “Daniel Andrews obviously has no idea how important the cocaine… Read More ›
Victorian Premier Under Fire For Announcing Building Project Without Wearing Hi Vis
Victoria Premier Daniel Andrews today copped a stern phone call from federal Labor for announcing a major building policy without wearing a fluro vest. A Labor insider told The (un)Australian that Mr Andrews received a phone call from Bill Shorten himself, asking… Read More ›
Daniel Andrews Pays Barista To Not Make A Coffee
Victoria’s Premier Daniel Andrews is at least $4.29 out of pocket after reaching a deal with The Coffee Emporium to cancel his predecessors daily order. In what could be Victoria’s mostly costly cancelled coffee order ever, the premier revealed on… Read More ›
