Low Rating News Channel Takes Credit For Popular Premier’s Retirement

Low rating news channel, Sky News Australia, has rushed out a press release that takes credit for Victorian Premier Dan Andrews retirement.

”What a great day, not only for Victoria, but also for our viewers, all 6 of them,” said Sky News host Andrew Bolt. ”We have waited for this day from the moment Dan became Premier.”

”We thought he might’ve been gone at the last election, or the one before that, or that.”

When asked in what World Sky News could claim credit for a popular Premier retiring of his own free will, Andrew Bolt said: ”Sure, he says that he’s retiring but he knows deep down he is leaving to escape our relentless scrutiny.”

”Whether it be Peta’s probing questions or Paul’s rifling through his bins, we’ve held him to account.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to have a few drinks with our viewers to celebrate. Don’t suppose you know a good telephone booth I could book?”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

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