Herald Sun Exclusive: Dan Andrews Linked To JFK’s Assassination

The Liberal parties leading propaganda piece The Herald Sun has today alleged that Victorian Premier Dan Andrews has links to former American President John F Kennedy’s assassination. The alleged links come despite Premier Andrews having been born in 1972, a full 9 years after the Kennedy assassination.

”We at The Herald are demanding Dan Andrews resign today,” said a Spokesperson for the Newspaper. ”How dare he swan about with the blood of JFK on his hands.”

”Sure, JFK was a Democrat but still, murder is murder.”

When asked how on earth they could spin the Dan Andrews conspiracy as remotely plausible, the Spokesperson said: ”It’s not a lie if you believe it.”

”Besides, a lot of people have been looking into what they were in a past life.”

”How do we know Andrews wasn’t on the grassy knoll in a past life, or maybe he was Hitler?”

”Oh, that’s a good one, we’ll run that on Friday.”

Mark Williamson


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