Abbott Calls On Australia To Move Away From The Metric System

Former Australian Prime Minister (yep, really) Tony Abbott has called on the Government to move away from the metric system, claiming that it is confusing for those over the age of 55.

”We’ve given this so called system a chance but I think most reasonable Australians will agree that it hasn’t worked,” said the former PM (yep, really). ”I propose we move to a system that honours our past.”

”Instead of a kilogram how about a Howard? Or a Menzies for a gram.”

When asked why he seemingly wanted to drag the country back to the 1950’s, the former PM (again, he was PM) said: ”Well, some look forward others look back, I personally believe that to go forward you need to go back.”

”Back to a better time when knights and dames roamed the streets and everything in the country was all white, I mean all right.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a busy day of interviews with 2GB, Sky News and The Australian where I will be talking about how people like me are being silenced.”

Mark Williamson


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Categories: Opinion

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