Officials from the Australian Commonwealth Games team have confirmed that 25 athletes from Melbourne have gone missing from the games village and are believed to be seeking asylum on the Gold Coast. “Please don’t send me back home, I can’t… Read More ›
The Commonwealth Games’ opening ceremony has excited great controversy among all Australians named Pauline Hanson, with one Pauline Hanson taking to Sky News to express outrage at the limited opportunities to generate cheap publicity with feigned outrage. “I mean honestly, I… Read More ›
It’s been revealed that God has set aside specific time to answer the prayers of athletes competing at the upcoming Commonwealth games. This has meant he will have to put other requests on hold, such as those in off-shore detention,… Read More ›
Former Health Minister Sussan Ley has upheld a great Australian tradition and helped herself to as much stuff from the stationery cabinet as her handbag could hold before exiting her job. “I grabbed myself a couple of boxes of biros,… Read More ›
Journalists (sic) from Channel 9’s 60 minutes program are excited to announce that they have outbid their rivals in securing an exclusive interview with a piece of dog poo that has been living on the streets of the Gold Coast…. Read More ›
Britain’s number one tennis player has indicated that he is really, really looking forward to the Commonwealth Games. The great hope of English tennis, born in Scotland, held a press conference after playing a match in one of the colonies at… Read More ›
