The Coalition’s leader in exile, lil’ Andy Hastie, is undecided on when he will stick the knife in to interim Coalition leader, Sussan ‘SS’ Ley, he is leaning towards doing so next year, as it will allow him to have… Read More ›
Knife
Dude Who Just Watched Forged In Fire Declares That His Steak Knife Will Keel
35 year-old Hobart man, Richard Monks, has heartily tucked into his evening steak, stabbing the porterhouse with his knife and declaring to his family that the knife will keel. ”Every time he watches Forged In Fire he thinks he’s that… Read More ›
Coalition To Consider Replacing Dutton With A Potato After Woeful Budget Reply Speech
The Opposition today are holding emergency meetings with a view to rolling their leader, the Dark Lord Peter Dutton and replacing him with an actual potato after Mr Dutton’s woeful budget reply speech. ”It was a long shot to be… Read More ›
Lil’ Petey Dutton Sits On Santa Rup’s Lap And Asks To Be PM For Xmas
Australia’s Minister for the Dark Arts Lil’ Petey Dutton has jumped at the opportunity to sit on Santa Rup’s lap and ask him if for Christmas he could be Prime Minister. ”I do admit I would rather take my rightful… Read More ›
Joyce Tells ScoMo To Make Him Minister For Home Affairs, Or He’ll Piss On The Carpet
Soon-to-be-appointed Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce has demanded that Prime Minister ScoMo appoint him Minister of Home Affairs, or else he’ll piss on the floor of Parliament House. ”The PM needs to know that the Nationals will not back down,’… Read More ›
Bill Shorten Seen Shopping At Chadstone’s King Of Knives Store
Former Labor Leader Bill Shorten has been spotted doing some shopping in Melbourne’s Chadstone Shopping Centre, with the Member for Maribyrnong seen walking out of the King of Knives store with armfuls of bags. ”You can never have too many… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 