Bill Shorten Seen Shopping At Chadstone’s King Of Knives Store

Former Labor Leader Bill Shorten has been spotted doing some shopping in Melbourne’s Chadstone Shopping Centre, with the Member for Maribyrnong seen walking out of the King of Knives store with armfuls of bags.

”You can never have too many knives,” said Mr Shorten. ”I mean, who knows when you will need a knife to cut a rope, or sink it in to the back of a colleague?”

”It’s always good to have one or two laying around the office.”

When asked whether current Labor leader Anthony Albanese has his full support, Mr Shorten looked up for the knife he was currently sharpening to say: ”Anthony can always rely on me to have his back.”

”I’m a very loyal colleague. I mean, I’ve only helped knife two Prime Ministers. I’ve yet to knife a sitting opposition leader!”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to catch up with Kevin Rudd and Tony Abbott to get some tips on how to support my leader whilst staying in the limelight.”

Mark Williamson


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