Joyce Tells ScoMo To Make Him Minister For Home Affairs, Or He’ll Piss On The Carpet

Soon-to-be-appointed Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce has demanded that Prime Minister ScoMo appoint him Minister of Home Affairs, or else he’ll piss on the floor of Parliament House.

”The PM needs to know that the Nationals will not back down,’ ‘said the Member for New England. ”If that means that I have to drop the trousers and bleed the lizard in the House of Reps, then so be it.”

”I’ll be honest – it won’t be the first time I’ve had the Old Fella out in Parliament House.”

When asked why, in the middle of a pandemic, does he feel the need to challenge for the leadership and upset the Coalition, the Member for New England said: ”This isn’t about the Australian people. This is about me.”

”You know, deep down I’m a family guy – heck, I have two of them! And, let me tell you something – families ain’t cheap.”

”So, ScoMo, do what’s right and give me Home Affairs. As you know, it’s better for me to be pissing out than pissing in the tent.”

Mark Williamson


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