The Opposition’s shadow treasurer (yep, really) Angus Taylor has been asking his colleagues if he can borrow their fingers and toes to help him work on his numbers in the event of a #LibSpill. ”Yeah, numbers aren’t really Angus’ thing… Read More ›
spill
Barnaby Denies Giving Littleproud A Wedgie
Aspiring shadow Minister for Home Affairs Barnaby Joyce has denied giving his colleague David Littleproud a wedgie this morning and insisted it was just a miscommunication. ”Look David asked me if his tie was straight and it wasn’t, so I… Read More ›
Joyce Tells ScoMo To Make Him Minister For Home Affairs, Or He’ll Piss On The Carpet
Soon-to-be-appointed Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce has demanded that Prime Minister ScoMo appoint him Minister of Home Affairs, or else he’ll piss on the floor of Parliament House. ”The PM needs to know that the Nationals will not back down,’… Read More ›
Labor Voter No Longer Objects To Leadership Speculation
Labor Voter Evelyn Bannister today confirmed that she had reversed her position on mainstream media outlets eschewing policy discussion in order to focus on leadership matters. The announcement comes after Bannister retweeted some 27 articles in a six-day period, all of which… Read More ›
Electorate Imagines Abbott’s Death, Polls Improve
The Australian electorate collectively woke this morning from the loveliest dream in which Tony Abbott was no longer Prime Minister. The imagined cause of this much coveted outcome varied, some envisioned a triumphant Turnbull at the conclusion of a spill,… Read More ›
Breaking: Tony Abbott To Appoint Prince Philip Minister For Foreign Affairs
Prince Philip will become the Minister for Foreign Affairs when Parliament resumes on Monday, Tony Abbott has announced. The Prime Minister, who has been battling rumours of a leadership spill, appears to be using the cabinet reshuffle to demonstrate to voters… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 