Australia’s Minister for the Dark Arts Lil’ Petey Dutton has jumped at the opportunity to sit on Santa Rup’s lap and ask him if for Christmas he could be Prime Minister.

”I do admit I would rather take my rightful role as Prime Minister in a bloody coup with lots of knifing, but alas I don’t think that is to be,” said the Dark Lord. ”So, why not ask the ultimate King maker Rupert Murdoch to help me ascend to the throne.”

”Scotty, err ScoMo, has had his time, now it’s mine.”

When asked why he feels that he is the right person to lead the country rather than the current democratically elected PM, the Dark Lord said: ”Democracy, you’ve got to be kidding.”

”If we believed in that we would’ve never have knifed Abbott.”

Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s been a long day so I’m off home to relax and indulge in my hobby of puppy strangling.”

”I used to strangle kittens but I got a little sick and tired of having to explain all the claw marks.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

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Categories: Politics

Tags: auspol, Australia, Insiders, Knife, LibSpill, Peter Dutton, PM, Prime Minister, Pupert Murdoch, QandA, Santa, satire, Scomo, Scott Morrison, Sky News, The Dark Lord