The Dark Lord led Coalition has come out strongly against a proposed Federal ICAC due to the high price of lettuce. ”It’s all well and good for Mr Albanese to come out and want to set up this and that… Read More ›
Lettuce
ICAC Forced To Flog Ministers With Soggy Cabbage Amidst Lettuce Prices
NSW’s ICAC has announced today that due to the rising price of lettuce that they will switch to flogging Ministers found guilty with warm cabbage for the foreseeable future. ”I appreciate ICAC making the switch from lettuce to cabbage,” said… Read More ›
Frydenburg Promises To Flog Westpac With The Warmest Of Lettuce
Treasurer Josh Frydenburg has told colleagues of his plans to punish rogue bank Westpac by flogging the bank and it’s executives with the warmest lettuce he can find. “Josh is very upset at Westpac right now,” said a Government Insider…. Read More ›
Tainted Lettuce Blamed For Bill Shorten’s Plummeting Popularity
Tainted pre-packaged lettuce sold at Woolworths and Coles supermarkets has led to an outbreak of deadly salmonella poisoning amongst consumers. It is also being blamed for the potentially low polling figures of Opposition leader Bill Shorten. A spokesperson for Mr… Read More ›
Bill Shorten Shocked To Learn Bill Cosby Not A Type Of Lettuce
Federal Opposition leader and fruit and vegetable enthusiast Bill Shorten was shocked to learn that comedian and alleged rapist Bill Cosby was not a type of lettuce. Mr Shortens discovery came after an awkward conversation he had with a shopper… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 