Frydenburg Promises To Flog Westpac With The Warmest Of Lettuce


Treasurer Josh Frydenburg has told colleagues of his plans to punish rogue bank Westpac by flogging the bank and it’s executives with the warmest lettuce he can find.

“Josh is very upset at Westpac right now,” said a Government Insider. “In fact besides punishing them with a warm lettuce flogging he is even thinking of taking the more drastic measure of not attending the banks annual Christmas party.”

“These are unprecedented times right now, as nothing keeps a Treasurer away from a bank’s Christmas party.”

When reached for comment on the Treasurer’s plans for the bank a Westpac Spokesperson, the St George Dragon said: “Not the warm lettuce, that’s a bit extreme isn’t it?”

“Why can’t we just pay a little fine put an ad or 2 in the papers saying we won’t do this again, yada, yada and that be the end of it?”

“A warm lettuce flogging who do they think we are, Angus Taylor?”

Mark Williamson

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Categories: Business

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