Cabinet To All Pitch In And Buy Matthias ‘Numbers Man’ Cormann A Calculator For Christmas


With the end of the parliamentary year in sight Scott Morrison’s cabinet have done a whip around with everybody chipping in to buy Senate Leader Matthias ‘Numbers Man’ Cormann a calculator for Christmas.

“In an ideal world we would have a finance minister who could do numbers,” said a Government Insider. “But we’ve made an exception for Matthias as with his accent it’s funny when he reads out the budget as he sounds just like the Terminator.”

“But it does have it’s draw backs on the plus side him stuffing up Dutton’s numbers was hilarious but stuffing up the numbers on the Union busting bill not so much.”

When asked whether the Government had considered replacing Cormann as Senate leader the Spokes person said: “With whom?”

“Look, keeping Matthias in cabinet is a great way to keep the Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton in his place. As we know if he were to challenge ScoMo Matthias would once again cock up the numbers.”

“A dodgy numbers man in finance is way better than Dutton as PM, trust me.”

Mark Williamson

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Categories: Politics

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