The Dark Lord Peter Dutton has been seen practicing smiling in the hallways of Parliament house, with those close saying it’s in preparation of taking down the weakened PM Scott Morrison. ”The Dark Lord has come very close in the… Read More ›
Matthias Cormann
Cormann’s Colleagues Chip In To Buy Him A Golden Abacus As A Farewell Gift
Retiring Senator Matthias Cormann has thanked his colleagues after they presented him with a golden abacus as a farewell present. ”I am genuinely touched that my colleagues bestowed this beautiful and practical gift on me,” said the Minister for Finance…. Read More ›
Scotty From Marketing Moves The Budget Lock-Up To Engadine Maccas
The Australian Prime Minister Scotty from marketing has announced that the traditional Budget lock-up, a process whereby journalists are locked in a room to run the rule over the budget will be moved from Parliament house to Engadine Maccas. ”We… Read More ›
Dead Unicorn Found On Parliament House Roof Points To A Return Of The Dark Lord
Canberra’s Parliamentary groundskeeper has reportedly found a deceased Unicorn on the roof of Parliament house with those inside fearful that it indicates a return of the Dark Lord to Canberra. “These are dire times if he who must not be… Read More ›
PM Panics After Learning Cormann Did The Numbers For The Budget
Australia’s part-time Prime Minister Scott Morrison is said to be panicked after learning that the numbers that Treasurer Josh Frydenburg will announce later today as part of his budget update were calculated by the Finance Minister Matthias Cormann. ”This is… Read More ›
BREAKING: Dutton Reported Missing Federal Police Searching All Potato Processing Plants
Minister for the dark arts Peter Dutton has been reported missing by the Nation’s media with the Federal Police called in to search all potato processing plants in the country. “We haven’t heard from Minister Dutton for a couple of… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 