Retiring Senator Matthias Cormann has thanked his colleagues after they presented him with a golden abacus as a farewell present. ”I am genuinely touched that my colleagues bestowed this beautiful and practical gift on me,” said the Minister for Finance…. Read More ›
Numbers Man
Budget Turmoil After Cormann Revealed To Have Been The One To Crunch The Numbers
The Australian Government is in turmoil today as it learned that the budget, due to be released tomorrow was in fact calculated by noted ‘numbers man’ Finance Minister Mathias Cormann. ”This is an absolute disaster, who knows how far out… Read More ›
PM Panics After Learning Cormann Did The Numbers For The Budget
Australia’s part-time Prime Minister Scott Morrison is said to be panicked after learning that the numbers that Treasurer Josh Frydenburg will announce later today as part of his budget update were calculated by the Finance Minister Matthias Cormann. ”This is… Read More ›
China Answers PM’s Text With “New Phone Who Dis?”
A relieved Prime Minister Scotty from marketing has revealed the recent trade disputes between Australia and China is a simple misunderstanding after China answered Australia’s text with, “New phone who dis?” “I do admit I was a bit worried when… Read More ›
Cabinet To All Pitch In And Buy Matthias ‘Numbers Man’ Cormann A Calculator For Christmas
With the end of the parliamentary year in sight Scott Morrison’s cabinet have done a whip around with everybody chipping in to buy Senate Leader Matthias ‘Numbers Man’ Cormann a calculator for Christmas. “In an ideal world we would have… Read More ›