The Australian Government is in turmoil today as it learned that the budget, due to be released tomorrow was in fact calculated by noted ‘numbers man’ Finance Minister Mathias Cormann.
”This is an absolute disaster, who knows how far out he is with the numbers,” said a Government Insider. ”I mean dear God, Cormann thought Dutton had the numbers to be Prime Minister!”
”Who knows whether the budget is in the red or black. I just wish we knew Cormann had been involved with it before we went out and printed all those blasted coffee cups.”
When asked how someone with such a dire history with numbers like Cormann could be put in such a position as Finance Minister, the Government Insider said: ”Bloody Scotty is stubborn and won’t sack anyone. I mean as bad as Cormann is he’s no Angus Taylor that’s for sure.”
”Anyway, Cormann will be gone in a few months so hopefully we can weather this storm, not like the Oppposition will do much damage to us anyway.”
”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to Bunnings to buy something else for the PM to be photographed putting together, just in case people get pissed about the budget.”
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