The government has commissioned a feasibility study to look into the construction of a Very Fast Sushi Train down the eastern seaboard, raising hopes that sushi aficionados in Brisbane will be able to sample a frilled scallop nigiri that has… Read More ›
Surplus
Budget Turmoil After Cormann Revealed To Have Been The One To Crunch The Numbers
The Australian Government is in turmoil today as it learned that the budget, due to be released tomorrow was in fact calculated by noted ‘numbers man’ Finance Minister Mathias Cormann. ”This is an absolute disaster, who knows how far out… Read More ›
Josh Frydenburg Caught Trying To Commune With Thatcher
Treasurer Josh Frydenberg was spotted sneaking into his home study last night, carrying what looked suspiciously like a Ouija board under his arm before locking the door, a source close to the Morrison government’s “numbers man” told The (un)Australian. The… Read More ›
Shorten To Forego Budget Reply Speech And Instead Recap What Happened On MAFS
Australia’s next top Prime Minister Bill Shorten has told colleagues that he will not deliver the traditional Budget reply speech on Thursday and instead simply recap to the Australian public what has been happening on the popular TV show Married At… Read More ›
Abbott Calls Upon The PM To Promote ‘Sir Plus’ To A Prince
Aspiring YouTuber Tony Abbott has called upon the interim Prime Minister Scott Morrison to promote the budget surplus, or ‘Sir Plus’ as Tony refers to it, to a full blown Prince. “I think my Government, I mean Scott’s Government should… Read More ›
Breaking: Joe Hockey Spends Budget Savings On Magic Beans
A cabinet leak from today’s federal budget has revealed that Treasurer Joe Hockey has already invested seven billion dollars worth of projected budget savings on six magic beans that he got from an old man* that he met while walking to the… Read More ›