The government has commissioned a feasibility study to look into the construction of a Very Fast Sushi Train down the eastern seaboard, raising hopes that sushi aficionados in Brisbane will be able to sample a frilled scallop nigiri that has… Read More ›
Deficit
Scotty From Marketing Moves The Budget Lock-Up To Engadine Maccas
The Australian Prime Minister Scotty from marketing has announced that the traditional Budget lock-up, a process whereby journalists are locked in a room to run the rule over the budget will be moved from Parliament house to Engadine Maccas. ”We… Read More ›
Budget Turmoil After Cormann Revealed To Have Been The One To Crunch The Numbers
The Australian Government is in turmoil today as it learned that the budget, due to be released tomorrow was in fact calculated by noted ‘numbers man’ Finance Minister Mathias Cormann. ”This is an absolute disaster, who knows how far out… Read More ›
Josh Frydenburg Caught Trying To Commune With Thatcher
Treasurer Josh Frydenberg was spotted sneaking into his home study last night, carrying what looked suspiciously like a Ouija board under his arm before locking the door, a source close to the Morrison government’s “numbers man” told The (un)Australian. The… Read More ›
Murdoch Pissed To Only Receive $10 Million Of The Government’s 90 Billion Spend
Media mogul and American citizen Rupert Murdoch is reportedly extremely pissed at the Morrison Government after his pay TV network Foxtel only received $10 million dollars of the Governments 90 billion dollar spend. ”Mr Murdoch is definitely not happy and… Read More ›
PM Panics After Learning Cormann Did The Numbers For The Budget
Australia’s part-time Prime Minister Scott Morrison is said to be panicked after learning that the numbers that Treasurer Josh Frydenburg will announce later today as part of his budget update were calculated by the Finance Minister Matthias Cormann. ”This is… Read More ›