Bill Shorten Shocked To Learn Bill Cosby Not A Type Of Lettuce


Federal Opposition leader and fruit and vegetable enthusiast Bill Shorten was shocked to learn that comedian and alleged rapist Bill Cosby was not a type of lettuce. Mr Shortens discovery came after an awkward conversation he had with a shopper at his local fruit and vegetable store.

A spokesperson for Mr Shorten spoke to The (un)Australian about the confusion, saying, “Bill is deeply embarrassed about his gaffe, he prides himself on his knowledge of lettuce and just assumed that with a name like Cosby it surely had to be who Cos lettuce was named after.”

“Upon being corrected Bill did some research into Cosby and though he found Leonard Part 6 highly amusing, he was appalled at reading about all the rape allegations and wants to have as much to do with Mr Cosby as he does with cos lettuce. We should point out Bill doesn’t like Cos lettuce, he’s more a rocket man.”

Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull could not be reached for comment however his office did say, that: “He appreciates all types of lettuce and that it’s never been a more exciting time to be an Australian consumer of lettuce.”

Mark Williamson

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Categories: Politics

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