Opposition leader Peter Dutton (yep, really) has expressed shock to his advisors after they told him that the general public wasn’t as into puppy strangling as a hobby as he was. ”Peter is still getting used to being the front… Read More ›
Puppy
Prime Minister Dutton Promises To Not Wash Anyone’s Hair But May Strangle Their Puppy
Australia’s Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has been telling colleagues that if they give him the Prime Ministership he will not wash anyone’s hair, however, he will not promise to stop strangling people’s puppies. ”The Dark Lord has… Read More ›
Dutton Condemns Sudanese Tradies For Melbourne Riots
The Dark Lord Peter Dutton has emerged from his secret lair to condemn Sudanese Tradies over the ongoing riots in Melbourne. ”It is appalling that theses people are rioting in Melbourne at the moment,” said the Dark Lord. ”I have… Read More ›
Dutton Celebrates Defence Promotion By Strangling A Puppy
The Dark Lord Peter Dutton who is now Australia’s new Minister for Defence has celebrated his promotion to the role by indulging in his favourite hobby of strangling puppies. ”It’s quite an honour to be made Minister for Defence,” said… Read More ›
Mob Attacks Cute Puppy For Stealing Toilet Paper
An angry mob has torn apart a cute white Labrador puppy after the animal attempted make off with a length of Kleenex toilet paper. “He may be adorable and fluffy but these are desperate times and every sheet is precious,”… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 