Dutton Shocked That Most People Don’t Consider Puppy Strangling A Hobby

Opposition leader Peter Dutton (yep, really) has expressed shock to his advisors after they told him that the general public wasn’t as into puppy strangling as a hobby as he was.

”Peter is still getting used to being the front man of the band so to speak,” said an Advisor to the Dark Lord. ”At the moment we are just knocking off a few rough edges to getting him somewhere near electable.”

”Or, if that’s too much of a stretch then we’ll settle with him being able to walk down the street without young children screaming in fear.”

When asked if they seriously believed that Peter Dutton would honestly ever be considered by the Public as Prime Minister, the Government Advisor said: ”Well who else do we have?”

”Angus Taylor? I’m sure Labor would be ICAC ing their dacks at the thought of facing Angus at an election.”

”Look, we’ll get Peter across the line one way or another. Heck, who knows maybe by the next election puppy strangling will take off as the new hip fad.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must go to the pound and stock on puppies for the Dark Lord, he’s always in such a good mood after he’s strangled a couple.”

Mark Williamson


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