Greens Demand Australia Be Renamed As The “Us” In Australia Is Offensive To The Chronically Single

Greens Leader Adam Bandt has called upon the Prime Minister to rename the country as the use of “us” in Australia could be offensive to the chronically single.

”For too long, this country’s single people have been left behind,” said Brandt. ”I can’t even imagine the pain and suffering they have had to endure every time they have the “us” in Australia foisted upon them.”

”Why hasn’t Anthony Albanese acted upon this vital issue yet?”

When asked if he seriously believed that this was the most pressing issue facing the country at the moment, the Member for Melbourne said: ”It was a huge conversation topic last week at my book club gathering.”

”Poor Tarquin was inconsolable after someone dared use the ‘A word’.”

”Australians need to learn to respect and adhere to my inner-city electorate’s demands.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I overheard a garbage collector address a person on the street by a female pronoun. I have to stop them and poimt out how wrong and destructive they are being by assuming someone’s gender.”

Mark Williamson


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