That leathery old bloke in speedos who’s always strutting around at the beach wants you to take a shot at guessing how old he is. “How old do you reckon I am?” asked wrinkly beachgoer Bert Vovo as he puffed… Read More ›
summer
Magpies Postpone Swooping Season Till December
Faced with the possibility that the streets will still be bare of people in September, Australia’s magpies have reluctantly pushed back the swooping season to December. “What’s the point of swooping season if there’s no-one to swoop down on but… Read More ›
Prime Minister Blames Heatwave On Bushfires
Prime Minister Scott Morrison announced today that the current heatwave conditions ravaging most parts of Australia were not caused by climate change, but by the bushfires currently incinerating Australia. Scomo told a packed Engadine Maccas: ” I’m no scientist, but… Read More ›
Australian Open Moved To Surface Of The Sun
Tennis Australia officials have confirmed that next year’s Australian Open will be played on the surface of the sun after complaints about the heat on Rod Laver Arena. “We had a good look around for a surface that was cooler… Read More ›
It’s Almost Singlet Weather Says Hard Nut Who Walked Around All Summer Without A Shirt
The arrival of the first chilly morning of the year has prompted that hard bastard who hasn’t worn a shirt since September to consider opening up his wardrobe and dusting off a singlet or two. “It’s time to put away… Read More ›
Weather Almost Hot Enough For Nanna To Take Off Her Cardigan
With the thermometer hitting forty degrees in parts of Sydney this week Campsie Nanna, Betty Simpkins considered for a moment taking off her cardigan due to the heat, before deciding not too. Just in case she got a chill. Speaking… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 