No One Comes Forward To Accuse Bill Cosby Of Rape Today


Bill Cosby, legendary comedian, 80’s sitcom hero and alleged rapist, has not been accused of rape by anyone new today.

The beloved actor, who famously wore a multitude of sweaters and allegedly gave women pills to make it easier to take advantage of them, was believed to be relaxing in his hotel room when no one came forward to accuse him of rape.

The 77-year-old septuagenarian with a Doctorate of Education and a list of accusers as long as Shoah, has recently had his new sitcom cancelled and Netflix has decided to hold off releasing his new stand up special.

However, since no one has come forward in the past 24 hours, Mr Cosby was rewarded with a standing ovation following a stand-up performance in Florida.

“The Cos” as he is affectionately known by his fans and not at all by the women who accuse him of rape, has had 21 women come forward with similar stories describing how Cosby drugged and took advantage of them.

However, Cosby has had a number of people defend him in public. Kurt Harris, a 40 year old bank teller from Boise, Idaho, has advocated that Cosby couldn’t possibly have committed what he’s been accused of, citing the fact that “the Cosby Show was such a formative show during [his] childhood”.

Kurt also pointed out that these women coming forward are most likely doing it for the money, as women are famously known for their money lust. That is why upwards of 12 women are on the richest 100 list.

According to most reliable studies, the number of rape cases that turn out to be false are between 2 and 8 percent. That figure is comparable to most other major crimes. This means that statistically, you would have to hope that up to 1029 women were raped by people other than Bill Cosby so you can watch his new stand up act without feeling guilty.

*Editor’s Note – this article was initially meant to be published on 21/11/2014 but had to be moved to today, following further allegations of rape surfacing. The article has been updated to reflect further information.

Matthew Farthing

Follow The (un)Australian on Twitter and Facebook.

Categories: News, World

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