An unhappy prime minister Tony Abbott has been told that there are plenty of other people willing to do his job if he doesn’t like the terms of his new enterprise agreement.
“How am I supposed to afford to put my daughters through uni on paltry wages like this,” moaned a bleary eyed Abbott fresh from working ten extra hours overtime appointing new knights.
The job conditions that Abbott finds objectionable include no double time pay for working on Sundays, having to wear a silly shirt at APEC conferences, pretending to like Julie Bishop and being allowed only one five minute toilet break every four hours.
“No-one’s holding a gun to Tony’s head telling him he has to do the job,” said Australian person Gary Sprake representing Abbot’s boss The Australian People. “And if he wants out we can always bring in someone on a 457 work visa who’d be more than willing to accept those conditions.”
“We can’t help him at all because the prime ministership is a non unionised work place”, said Reg Barraclough, president of the Federated International Statesmen, Premiers and Lord Mayors Union. Reg then said something else but we couldn’t figure out what it was due to his thick Geordie accent.
“I’d love Tony’s job and what’s more I’d be willing to do it for twenty bucks an hour”, said a bloke we found hanging around parliament house called Malcolm who didn’t want to tell us his second name. “How can we expect to compete against cheap prime ministers from China and Malaysia if he expects to be paid inflated wages like he has in the past.”