Pizza Hut Sin Against Nature, Again

Vegimite stuffed crust

This Australia day an American corporation that sells facsimiles of a traditional Italian dish has sinned against nature by adding vegemite and cheese to the crust of a pizza.

The emergence of the Mitey Stuffed Crust Pizza (do you see what they did there), represents another dark chapter in the story of humanity as people the world over spontaneously wept at the depths of depravity fast food marketers will sink to.

Novelty pizza products have proven to be fertile ground for the creation of culinary abominations. In recent years the stuffed crust was created adding more cheese and bread to pizza, a junk food that was already the cheesiest carbohydrate vehicle in existence. Followed more recently by the hotdog stuffed crust, literally comprising of a ring of frankfurter in the crust of a pizza, which had many stopping to wonder at the terror of the imagination of human beings.

Then in a move worthy of a comic book supervillain, the cheeseburger crust was conjured in what surely must have been the result of some sort of Necromantic ritual in which several thousand kittens were tortured for hours on end. This pizza had cheeseburgers on the crust, and presumably some sort of pentagram etched into the underside of base.

Now combining Australian patriotism with another horrific monster in pizza form, the Mitey Stuffed Crust Pizza is surely a signal that the end is coming soon.

Several ethics professors were approached by The (un)Australian for comment but they just wouldn’t stop crying.

Ryan Crawford                                                                         

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Categories: Business

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