Kevin Andrews Dumped From Pub Trivia Team


The host of The Durham Castle Arms regular Tuesday quiz night says Defence Minister Kevin Andrews has been elbowed out of the once formidable Lego-haired Legends and is unlikely to play again.

Leigh Sales has told The (un) Australian she asked Mr Andrews three times to name the leader of ISIL or Daesh but he was unable to do so resulting in the sextet missing out on the $80 bar tab for the fifth week in a row. Legends spokesperson, Pete Davidson said last night’s blunder was the latest in a string of embarrassments which have cost the group several jugs of beer, a chance at the jackpot and a meal voucher valid for up to seven days.

Sales says the veteran parliamentarian is often late, disappears when it’s his shout and habitually asks his team mates for the previous questions during the musical excerpt round despite repeated requests to “shut the fuck up”. Davidson says if it weren’t for his exceptionally neat handwriting Andrews would have been axed months ago, “Kevin survived by one vote when we discussed his future with us in February.” Davidson said the February vote on the Minister’s expulsion was called immediately after he suggested “who played Captain Robinson was an operational matter.” Captain Robinson is a character played by Jude Law in the 2014 submarine movie ‘Black Sea’.

Potential replacements for the embattled former Lego-haired Legend are rumoured to be jockeying for prime position with offers of lifts and other bribes being considered by the team’s hierarchy. Chief frontrunners include fellow Liberal MP Scott Morrison who coincidentally replaced Andrews as Social Services Minister last year, and the Crikey columnist Bernard Keane who has the right haircut.

Tim Govers


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Categories: Politics

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