RSL Expresses Outrage After Woolworths Unveils Range Of Turkish Delight Flavoured ANZAC Biscuits

Woolworths ANZAC

The Returned and Services League (RSL) has expressed outrage after Woolworth’s supermarkets  announced it would be releasing  new range of Turkish delight flavoured ANZAC biscuits in time for the ANZAC centenary. In a press release Woolworths proclaimed their reinvention of the 100 year-old biscuit, claiming the fusion of aromatic Turkish delight with the traditional chewiness of the ANZAC biscuit made it a match made in heaven.

A spokesperson from the RSL was positively frothing at the mouth when The (un)Australian contacted them for comment, they shouted down the phone saying, “My Father didn’t fight in 15 World Wars just so we could prance around eating Turkish delight flavoured ANZAC biscuits, there’s no respect these days, in my day if you were lucky you’d get an ANZAC biscuit for Christmas and you’d be happy! These days kids with their X-boxes and bikes and stuff, we need to bring back conscription that’ll teach ‘em, now what were we talking about.”

According to a spokesperson, Woolworths also have plans for further re-invention of  several other Australian classics.

“The feedback on the turkish delight flavoured ANZAC biscuit is off the chart, I mean twitter is buzzing so we plan to follow it up with some new innovations like a sponge-free sponge cake and a golden marriage equality gay time. I tell you the world is our gluten free oyster!”

Turkish delight flavoured ANZAC biscuits are available in all Woolworths stores . Plans are currently on hold to release halal certified Turkish delight flavoured biscuits until the riot squad can be deployed.

Mark Williamson

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