Danish economist Bjorn Lomborg has announced that the Australian arm of his Copenhagen Consensus Centre will be relocated to the University of Thredbo, Australia’s highest at 2000 metres above sea level, on the off chance that his theories on climate change turn out to be a piece of shit.
“Secretly I’m glad that the University of Western Australia has knocked back the chance to host the centre as its location on the banks of the Swan River left me a little nervous”, said Lomborg from his chalet. “I’d feel like a right dickhead trying to spout on about climate change being bollocks whilst the water is lapping around my ankles from a big tide.”
“We consider Bjorn’s decision as a major coup for our institution”, said Vernon Wormer, vice-chancellor of the University of Thredbo. “It means we’ll be able to promote bullshit climate change rationalisation alongside the other degrees we offer in apres-ski studies, yeti biology and snowball trajectory science.”
Lomborg also derided all the other scientists in the world for being part of a conspiracy theory.
“It’s pretty obvious that 98% of the world’s scientists are conspiring to hog all that filthy research lucre made available to them from all the publicly funded universities, leaving us other 2% to scrabble around in the dirt chasing the skint funding available to us from various trillionaires and coal mining companies.”