Australia Hit By Inflationary Crisis As Thousands Get Good Jobs That Pay Good Money

The treasurer wants a conversation with the nation about the costs of immortality.

Australia is being rocked by record high inflationary rates today as thousands of Australians use Treasurer Joe Hockey’s $360,000 a year salary as a yardstick by which to act upon Mr Hockey’s advice to get good jobs that pay well. The annual inflationary rate is now on track to reach 11%, more than triple the Reserve Bank’s target of 3%.

In response to the sudden jump in individual spending power, the Reserve Bank has aggressively raised interest rates to 8%, the highest they’ve risen since the last occasion Joe Hockey and Tony Abbott were senior ministers in the federal government.

The impact on housing affordability is expected to be particularly significant. Realtor Domenic Pavesi told The (un)Australian that he expects houses that go under the gavel this weekend will attract considerably higher bids than what he would have expected before Mr Hockey’s statement.

“We’ve got one place, a studio apartment in Fairfield, about 25-years-old, shares a wall with a commercial kitchen, probably needs a bit of paint and maybe a new doorhandle or two, we’re expecting this to fetch about 1.7 million.”

Labor leader Bill Shorten told The (un)Australian that this was yet another gaffe similar to Mr Hockey’s “poor people don’t drive cars” comment last year.

“What planet is Joe Hockey living on? Joe Hockey must be the only person in Australia who doesn’t think housing affordability is an issue. As far as he’s concerned, if Joe Hockey’s doing OK then everyone else is too,” said Shorten.

The Treasurer has been quick to act to contain the damage. This morning Mr Hockey told ABC radio “If you want to have low inflation, get a lower paying job.”


Gus W. Templeton & Nathan Lentern

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