Unhappy Couple Vow To Use Same Sex Marriage As Pretext For Desperately Wanted Divorce

A religious couple who are deeply unhappy in their marriage, but concerned about the stigma associated with divorce, have vowed to divorce in protest if same sex marriage is legalised.

Nick Jensen and his wife Sarah were married 10 years ago and have slept in separate beds since 2009. They have discussed divorce almost weekly for the last year but can’t bring themselves to face the judging eyes of their friends and family in the Australian Christian League.

The looming possibility of legalised same sex marriage however allows them to make the case that the union has now been desecrated and that the right thing to do by Christ is to leave the corrupted sacrament rather than continue to be tainted by it.

The Jensens believe the divorce will be welcomed as a noble sacrifice by their close friends. Theology Professor Andrew Stinson agrees.

“Well on the surface of it there’s no real reason why same-sex couples getting married in no religious ceremonies should have any impact on a religious sacrament whatsoever so in that sense the logic is very confused,” Stinson said.“On the other hand, that tends to be the kind of logic that proves most popular with ACL types so it’ll probably work quite effectively.”

Nick Jensen told The (un)Australian: “You don’t know what you’re talking about. Who are you to impugn someone else’s relationship as less than yours just because you have a different set of values to them? How dare you?”

Nathan Lentern

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