Government Finishes Magna Carta Review, Decides Rule Of Law No longer Relevant

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On Monday, the Abbott government announced it finally had completed its 800-year review into the Magna Carta and decided that its emphasis on “the rule of law” was “no longer relevant or in touch with modern Australian values”.

As parliaments the world over celebrated the 800-year anniversary of the “Great Charter”, the Australian government signaled that the charter’s decline in popularity in recent years may mean it’s time to abandon its key component of the rule of law.

The Magna Carta has been under the scrutiny of the government’s new “Red Tape and Expenditure Committee,” and government sources say that there are big savings to be made scrapping the rule of law, particularly in relation to foreigners or citizens who could soon become foreigners.

“We’ve worked out that if we pay warlords and rogue states enough so that they can effectively suppress dissidents, then it really cuts down the number of boats headed in our direction,” a source within the government said. “With the new challenges facing Australia today, the rule of law may have become redundant, and certainly is no longer relevant to community values.”

A recent poll suggests that the government has its finger on the pulse of public opinion: 69% of respondents agreed that rights of citizenship should be withdrawn from people who park in loading zones, and only 25% of respondents knew of the rule of law.

The Attorney-General agreed that, after 800 years, the review of the Magna Carta has been exhaustive, and we should not let sentimentality get in the way of efficiency. “Some laws were meant to be broken,” George Brandis said at a doorstop interview, “unless they are on-water matters, in which case I couldn’t comment.”

Dot Dixer

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