FIRB Cracks Down On Leprechauns After Double Rainbow Hits Sydney

wunulla road

The Foreign Investment Review Board (FIRB) is investigating claims Irish nationals have sent property prices so high overnight that Chinese investors are being forced out of the market.

Earlier this year the FIRB ordered a Chinese national to sell a $40 million mansion on Sydney Harbour in an effort to ease the pressure on first home buyers but property analyst Paulette Peu says that effort could be wasted if short-statured Irishmen with ginger beards and green coats aren’t stopped. “If we don’t act fast, baby boomers, self-funded retirees and even the bloody Rineharts won’t have a chance.”

The nation’s largest city was at a standstill from 4pm yesterday as residents shared photos of the double rainbow on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook for people too engrossed in social media to notice the spectacle above.

Rumours of ridiculous sums being offered for everything from parking spaces to luxury penthouses began almost as soon as the first pictures of the rainbows appeared. A burnt out bus in Alexandria was reportedly sold for three times its reserve last night and an old woman from Haberfield received an offer of $875 000 plus three bottles of stout for her shoe, but had so many children she didn’t know what to do.

The FIRB will report its findings to the government next week.

Tim Govers

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