Former Governor of California and Shakespearean actor Arnold Schwarzenegger has offered to personally kill global warming in an epic one-on-one battle.
“I’m tired of these geo-meteorological girly scientists who are trying to defeat the greenhouse effect with data and expert opinion,” said the Austrian born muscleman as he painted little lines under his eyes and put together a sub-machine gun. “I’m ready to punch on with you climate change. I know you’re up there in the atmosphere. Don’t go anywhere.”
After recently recognising that climate change is real, Schwarzenegger has proposed that the world’s body builders have an important part to play in the war against greenhouse gases.
“I’m calling on all tough guys to carbon load their own bodies like never before. We can do this. I personally can load enough carbon into my left pecs to offset the loss of the Amazon rainforest.”