Kanye West Announces New ‘Dark’, Rick Rubin Produced Presidential Campaign


Rapper, producer and former governor fashion designer, Kanye West, has announced that he plans to run for President of the United States of America in 2020, ending months of speculation over how he could possibly top the ridiculousness of previous award show appearances.

Mr West, 38, made the declaration at the MTV Video Music Awards, an event known for its sexualised live performances, backstage feuds, and high profile political announcements. The ceremony was hosted by Miley Cyrus, who after Mr West’s announcement, performed a raucous version of her new song “Do It” featuring her grandfather, Wayne Coyne.

The Rick Rubin-produced presidential campaign is expected to be “raw”, “dark”, and focused on “common sense education reforms”. The Red Hot Chili Peppers producer is expected to help synthesise a number of the rapper’s most beloved influences, including 70s-era soul, industrial music, and Walter Mondale.

But the idiosyncratic superstar also cautioned fans of his previous work: “Those wanting another My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy are going to be disappointed.”

“I’m determined to undermine the commercial. I’m stripping back the samples and lush instrumentation and replacing them with political campaigning and diplomatic affairs,” the rapper proclaimed during a near 10 minute stream of conscious rant that also made references to Justin Timberlake, the rapper’s grandfather and the need to reinstate Glass-Steagall.

Kanye West’s announcement was not the first political act of the night. After initially feuding over the perceived bias in favour of white beauty standards when it comes to honouring butts in videos, Nicki Minaj and Taylor Swift performed Minaj’s “The Night Is Still Young” on stage, a moment that is already being described by political commentators as the “Camp David Accords of Butts”.

Awards ceremonies featuring Kanye West are often the busiest nights of the year for white, middle-class, liberal critics, many of whom cannot bring themselves to admit that they like the music of a guy who says some stupid stuff sometimes. The emergency room for the Brooklyn Hospital Center has confirmed that seven bloggers have already been admitted for “severe exhaustion” following an all-night attempt to recontextualise Mr West’s VMAs speech as a modern day “I Have a Dream”.

However, political commentators have forewarned the media against becoming distracted by what could potentially be a political stunt. Instead, they’ve urged the media to focus their attention on legitimate presidential candidates like the billionaire who has declared corporate bankruptcy four times and believes most Mexicans are sex-offenders, the Roman-Catholic convert who has participated in an exorcism, and a former attorney who slept in a bed with his wife and a fetus.

Matthew Farthing is the political reporter for The (un)Australian. He is the uncle of six-year-old Noel Farthing, director of 2015’s box office hit Jurassic World.


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