Inner City Man Hailed As Hero For Sharing Controversial Image

 

Late last week, as news broke of a humanitarian crisis, brave Internet Activist John Assured,  swung into action ensuring that the most upsetting images were seen by as many people as possible.

“It’s important that I get this message out to my social network,” John explained, “Even though it is distressing and 90% of people on my friend’s list are already in complete agreement with my stance on this issue.”

Asked whether the image is needlessly traumatising people who have experienced these events personally, or parents who may have recently lost a child, John answers, “Well, yeah. But this is the internet, y’know? I’m not responsible for what people see.” John says as he clicks the share button on the image taken from yet another angle.

“I just think instead of complaining that their friends are sharing an upsetting image, they should actually get up from their computers and do something.” John explains, shifting in the computer desk seat he has occupied since 2007 to reach for more peanut M&M’s. “You know, actually be productive.”

When asked what cause he would lead people to victory in next, John shifted his sights to the people who protest outside abortion clinics.

“You have these guys harassing women outside abortion clinics with images of dead fetuses. That’s just wrong and no one seeking a medical procedure should have these people shoving images in their face just to make a point.”

Drew Bowie



Categories: Social Media

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