Silvio Berlusconi Offers To Take In Hot Young Female Refugees

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As a tsunami of Middle-Eastern refugees inundates Europe, former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi has offered to help relieve the pressure by offering housing to some. Following Finnish PM Juha Sipilä’s lead, who today stated that refugees could stay in one of his houses (as long as he is not there himself); Berlusconi has also opened his doors to those in need.

“The humanitarian tragedy which has struck our nation must be addressed” Berlusconi stated. “We all must open our hearts and our homes to those in need. I personally will host young women between 18 and 25 who are childless and are willing to undertake a medical examination.”

The move seems to have been sparked by photographs published during the past several days. Millions were shocked to see photos of the body of a drowned Syrian boy washed ashore on a Turkish beach as his family tried to flee the brutal hostilities taking place in their home country.

However, in a surprising twist, Berlusconi is not considering taking on refugees currently in Europe. Instead, he plans to browse Facebook profiles and offer places to young women “from down there”.

“I’ll accept refugees not just from Syria, but anywhere there are young ladies in need of help. Egypt, Argentina, Thailand; they are all welcome here. But I must stress, no fatties or hairy ones who look like that singer from Eurovision.”

The Vatican also stated they could provide housing to 300 boys aged under 12, but quickly withdrew the offer.

By John Smith

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